Have you been waiting for tomorrow to stop a certain habit you have with money?
Charging everything on a credit card but can’t afford to pay it off
Avoiding looking at our money (online banking, statements, bills)
Eating out too much
Robbing Peter to pay Paul
Numbing out on online shopping
And soooooooo many more! Did any of these resonate with you?
In a perfect world we would feel ready. Sometimes we just need to take one small step.
When I first started working with my money, I did not feel ready. It felt like one of those things that I just needed to get going on because I just kept saying “tomorrow I will deal with it”.
Tomorrow never came but my excuses and avoidance did, every single day.
I avoided money for so long. The main thing that I was avoiding was my debt. I just kept spending and...
I am in recovery from an addiction to spending money.
I am in recovery from addiction to alcohol.
When I first got sober from alcohol my addiction to spending money got out of control.
I almost lost my home because of my spending addiction. That was my rock bottom.
The impulses I felt about drinking had now manifested into overspending.
The parallels between sobriety and money is fascinating to me and see it in women every day.
When we are active in our addiction it is often us trying to cope with an internal struggle with external things.
My drinking was fueled by anxiety, stress, overwhelm, burnout and so many other things.
Getting sober my spending was fueled by all the same things. When I was stressed (and all the other feelings), I went to the store to purchase things to make me feel better. Even when I felt happy, it was an excuse to go spend money.
When we are in recovery there is a term called addiction transference. What this means is that you can transfer your...
Ok, I know what you are thinking. What is a spending plan? It is a term I use instead of saying budget. I don’t love the word budget as it feels kinda icky to me. It feels like a term I used to use when I tried to get my money figured out and I always failed at it. If you love the word budget, please use it! I want you to use the term that works best for you.
Term’s like, “it’s not in my budget”, “just did my budget and I won’t have any money this month”, “we can’t afford that, it’s not in the budget” were things I sometimes heard growing up and even said myself as an adult.
I like to refer to it as a spending plan because my thinking has turned around to “I get to CHOOSE what I spend my money on”, as opposed to “My budget is so depressing, I have to spend too much money”. Sometimes the difference in how we perceive things can make such a HUGE difference.
First and foremost,...
Have you ever thought that being mindful will benefit your relationship with money?
Have you been in moments where your mind is racing and it’s hard to stop it and you start to go down the rabbit hole of complete self-sabotage because of your money situation? It’s so common. You are not alone.
Do you make impulsive decisions with money and wonder what even happened? Do you remember what even happened and how the decision was made? Most of the time you will not.
90% of the decisions we make are already made for us. They are stored in the emotional part of our brain and we don’t even think about it. Our neuro pathways in our brain take over and the next thing we know we have indulged in a behaviour that we have been trying to change.
Our emotional brain is also what regulates fight, flight, freeze or fawn in our...
Does this sound familiar?
Would be in the midst of doing something and something would come to mind that I thought I “needed”, I looked it up online, one click I would buy it and wouldn’t even care when it showed up on my doorstep.
Would be having a bad day, feeling stressed, sad and I would find myself driving to my favourite store and buying things to make me feel better.
Would be having a great day, happy and I would find myself driving to a store to celebrate how I was feeling.
The list goes on and on about how I found myself pulling out my credit card to change how I was feeling. It worked, but only for a moment. I would get the dopamine hit. It was lovely. Then it left and I wanted more.
I would get a statements from the credit cards I used and often would have to take from a retirement account to pay the...